Monthly Archives: February 2012

Fun with Marriage Maps


Here is our new and improved map of states that grant same-sex marriage compared to states that allow first cousins to marry.  This map came on the heels of a map, which I knew was inaccurate, that made the media/web rounds last summer.  I knew it was inaccurate because it had Texas (my home state which does have it faults…but this wasn’t one of them) filled in as allowing first cousins to marry.  Thanks to the Fall undergrad research assistants and the awesome mapping skills of Ms. Ali, we were able to compile and create this one here which also includes dates. We opted to leave Washington off for the time being since same-sex couples will not be allowed to marry until June…so you can expect a revised one closer to then.

As of today, same-sex marriage is only allowed in six states (Massachusetts, Connecticut, Iowa, New Hampshire, New York) and in Washington, D.C.  Meanwhile, 18 states have yet to ban marriage between cousins. I am going to take a moment here to make a special note that just because it is not banned does not mean that states condone marriage between first cousins. More likely, its not an issue that has been problematic enough to require or inspire legislation. This does, however, speak volumes as to what is considered to be a concern or enough of a “problem” to inspire specific regulation banning marriages between two people.  Or another place I like to take it–threatening enough to use our energy, time, and money to actually spell out that two people should not have access to this revered institution that most take for granted as a typical way of American life.

This also reminds me of something I once read or heard (I wish I had the cite…if you do please send it my way) regarding amalgamation through marriage.  The idea is that you know a group has what I will deem “practical equality” compared to other groups when we don’t have to preface or discuss who the bride(s) and groom(s) are, related to their various group status characteristics–such as Race, Ethnicity, Nationality, Class, Religion, Disability, Age, Sexual Orientation, etc. For example, interracial marriage is legal yet we still inform our plus ones, co-workers, etc. that our black friend is marrying a “white woman” [whispered of course]. Practical equality comes in when we do not have to give our mothers, co-workers, plus ones, or whoever we talk to additional information preparing them for the experience or story we are about share so they can see the “right” picture or that the wedding they are about to attend in a way that is reminiscent forecasting bad news or foreshadowing any awkwardness.  No, “just so you know”s…or adjectives describing the wedding: “It’s a gay wedding” with a little too much emphasis on the gay.

Think about it for a second. We rarely hear a qualifier that is not associated with a disadvantaged group unless it is at the micro level and speaking directly to our own tastes and preferences (when we joke in good fun–not in bad fun or judgment).   We don’t hear, “He’s of Scottish decent and she’s some Anglo European mix.” And when we do, it is probably because there is something especially salient about those facts in relation to who we are or who they are…like “be prepared for bag pipes” or “he will be in kilt.” (I could argue a macro level gender point related to the kilt actually). I’m trying to be a bit tongue-in-cheek here and I do not mean to pick on kilts or bag pipes–for many, these may be big pros. It is really about the context of the statement or the situation, AND the fact that it even has to be pointed out.  Bag pipes and kilts are not generally associate with disadvantaged groups here in America.



Time To Get Back To Work

The first day back from any break is always the most freeing to me.  Seems odd, but breaks leave me feeling disruptive and out of “academic” shape so to speak.  However, the first day back is the day I clean-up, re-organize, and get back to work.  I really love this pic…I am not sure if it the tractor, the big tires, or what exactly, but I definitely want to thank my Facebook network for sharing this pic with me as it fits my mood for the day perfectly.

Mardi Gras Break, Making Choices, and Actually Writing

When I first learned of Mardi Gras break, I thought; “wow, great, more time to focus on writing and research.”  It will be like two spring breaks each year! However, ever since moving here it has been significantly more challenging than I expected.  The whole town seems to somewhat shut down, and of course friends and family always want to visit. What it essentially comes down to is a complete and total distraction. A distraction from my type A scheduling and a distraction from my writing habits.  I like to think that normally I am a pretty good sport, however this year the weather has also been bad and I have quite a few deadlines looming so it seems especially…in my way.  Sometimes you just have to fight it out no matter the distraction.

Always have two out…

In grad school we were taught to always have at least two papers out for review, at least two projects in the pipeline, and to be thinking about two new ideas for future work. I think in light of the tighter job market this has increased to five.  Personally, I can not really fathom having five papers out at once. My record is three I think, maybe four. However, this month I have managed to sign myself up for some serious writing deadlines.  Cross that with the fact that I have two conferences to attend and another to help organize next month.  I have to keep telling myself that it will get done…and it does, IF you sit down and do the work.

This actually brings up the main point of this particular post. You have to do the work. Over the past weekend, I feel like I lost my writing mojo. I have excuse after excuse for why I am not in the mood to write or why I can’t get to work. My schedule was disrupted, I don’t have access to that one thing I FEEL like I NEEDED to start, or the best is that an old friend is in town and I don’t know when I will get to see them next.  But thanks to an email from a very attentive grad student late yesterday evening, I realized that it was just that all excuses and at the end of the day (so to speak) you just have to sit down and start writing.  It is so easy to see when it is not you…of course the social psychologists know this, yet we still fall into the trap.  I am actually very grateful attentive grad student emailed me looking for tips since zi was “beginning zis work on the paper for [name of course] over the break.” I realized we were in the same boat. “Beginning to work” that was the red flag.

I am working, and actually writing…

For me getting started is the hardest part.  I am currently at a place where I am just “starting to” write about my latest work.  For the past few months, I have been editing, revising older work, and writing abstracts for paper and panel proposals but now I need to actually write for some of those deadlines. Enough of this starting and beginning…its time to actually write and get back in the habit of writing from nothing.  I decided to start with this blog piece. I could offer a few of my favorite tips for students and remind myself of how to find the mojo again.

Tip 1:  Know thyself

For me this means I have to set the mood.  I know where and when I feel the most productive.  I knew I would look forward to coming to my fav coffee shop on this first beautiful day after a series of gray days and that a hazelnut latte would really kick me into gear. I also need my earbuds in–whether music is on or not.  It’s all part of a writing tradition for me and a Pavlov’s response that gets me almost immediately focused.  (In fact a parade just went by and I am still writing…also I just took a moment to realize there are children playing within 5 feet of me and I only just now noticed).

Tip 2: Be prepared to be focused and actually write

This means having everything you need to do your writing. In addition to your research materials, outline, etc., and making some time to write, this also means a charged battery or power source for your computer, a full stomach, and an empty bladder.  Do not underestimate how distracting these things can be and what a damper they can put on your creativity and productivity.

Tip 3: Actually Write–Something, Anything…

Start by writing something, anything…  On the worst of days, I have even begun by writing my reference sections or title page.  Anything to get your fingers moving and your mind going.  I also prefer to write something that I want to write…whatever I am most interested in writing first.  Sometimes, if I am lucky, it is for that looming deadline, but other times it is for something bureaucratic or for fun (the mosquito that I have to kill before I can focus). And if none of these work for you, then just write a list and start with item one and go down from there (writing a list counts as writing too!).

Taming the wandering mind…

For me it is also helpful to not be so worried about the end product, not at this point just yet. That comes later.  Although, I do need a clear outline or focus to start writing–otherwise I am a wasteful writer, as I like to call it.  This means that I am likely to trash, delete, or heavily revise previously written words.  This is not a bad thing necessarily, but this is usually what is most frustrating for my students. For some reason, they do not like to “delete” what they have previously written.  However, if I have a clear focus, outline, or set intro I am able to be much more efficient and less wasteful of my time and productivity.  I can keep my eye on the ball so to speak.  With every piece we write there are so many interesting issues to discuss or avenues to explore it can become overwhelming.  I have since learned that, for me, part of being a producing writer is making choices, editing yourself (much like Tim Gunn would suggest with designing clothing), and completing projects. Furthermore, you can always explore and expand on those “less appropriate for this piece” nuances in future papers…so write those ideas down elsewhere, save for later, and keep your focus on your current project. Caution should always be used when taming the wandering mind because we definitely do not want to squash our enthusiasm or microcreativity.

Tip 4: Recognize and Reward Yourself!

It is always great to end on this positive note by recognizing what you did accomplish at the end of the day or writing period. Even if it is just a mental note.  I am always more excited to get back to work the next day if I have made note of what I accomplished in my last session once its over.  Sometimes I may be so proud (or glad to be finished) as to boast on Facebook or Twitter.  I also like to plan my next attack…this gives me a starting point for the next session which generally saves me a bit of time and keeps my focus on target.  Also, remember to reward yourself.  While I generally do this upon completion of a project, sometimes I also do it when I am having an especially hard time with a particular section or peice.  My favorite reward is a massage or taking myself to see a movie in the middle of a weekday afternoon.  I can be completely guilt-free even though I am not working. However, be careful when using rewards as it can be detrimental to attach them to every part, section, or thing…the real end reward should be the completed project.




Latest Not-So-Much News.

Today’s blog is about how sometimes you have no measurable output for the past week of work you have done. I have attended numerous meetings-faculty and student meetings, and done a ton of organizational things. Yet, there is nothing to really show for it except a messy date book (yes I still use a datebook) and an empty feeling in my un-tenured stomach. It’s also a rainy day here in NOLA which adds to the mood. On the positive front, the grad students seem to be progressing nicely and most everyone is excited about Mardi Gras and/or their current research agendas. I also know I have done a lot to make others feel good about their work and productivity.  All of which is actually very important and should be the primary focus–especially during a week that has been quite hectic with long hours, and otherwise seemingly unproductive.  Here is where I wish I had a great quote to cite–you know one of those ones that could go on an inspirational poster or is said by someone everyone loves.  Something to the effect of  “Sometimes you are most productive when you are unproductive!”  Quick someone get me a picture of Ryan Gosling or some cute kittens photo-shop this on to and spread around the internet.   #italwaystakespatienceperseveranceandhumor



States Allowing Marraige Between First Cousins Map

Getting Started…

This is me blogging.  Im gonna become a blogger and I will blog most every week at least. I will blog about all sorts of issues that come up in my daily life as a professor and academic who is also recognizably queer and also studies queer things.  I say this, in this way because of a piece of advice that I once was given by an elder, more established queer academic. Essentially, I was told you can be out or look gay if you don’t study gay things, but if you study gay things, forget about it.  It just doesn’t work.  Or you have to be really hot.  (I wont be naming any names…so no fear to anyone who ever talks to me about anything).  This has always stuck with me…and for some dumb reason, I just never followed it and thankfully that has worked out for me.

What I will probably blog about mostly:

I am technically trained as a social psychologist and I love to talk anything related to group processes and social interaction, especially thinking about how people make decisions based on what information they have…I know that is cliché but its true.  However, I also enjoy queer demography, and thinking about how people make decisions in relation to their sexuality.  “I ran out of people to date here so I am moving…”  This is an actual quote from someone I know.  I find this to be very interesting.  I will keep it lay and it will be stream of thought.  I am also interested in issues of queer spaces, stereotypes, and identities. For example, I consider my self a country person and I sometimes feel very out of place in “the city”—or maybe its really just in traffic and around concrete that bothers me—but there seems to be a theme in my life where people are surprised that I like the outdoors and rural communities, and the idea of one day being a farmer/moose rancher. Now I realize that you cant tell completely whether I am joking or not…but that is not the point. The point is that I find it very interesting that this is so surprising to people primarily because I am queer. Yet it makes perfect sense to me.

I also think a lot about being out in the classroom.  As a professor, I really have to be comfortable in front of the class otherwise I can not do a good job.  Yet, there is also a stigma (another topic I love to talk about) to being queer in most places and spaces.  On top of that I look young, and I am a woman.  Some of my students also think I look like Ellen, although I tell them it is really just the sweater vest and sneakers. My students also often expect me to be a black man. On all fronts it becomes an interesting mix as to what issues come up and how I feel about my classroom interactions.  Another reason for this blog (beyond that of being cathartic and fun) is I think it is important for students and graduate students who want to one day become a professor to have an idea of what it is like and can be like, especially if they are queer. While I know they will not have my exact experiences. I often had to look long and hard to find queer mentors.  In fact, really I only had a couple.  My primary academic mentors were not queer at all, but they were completely supportive and often I never felt queer and as such I think I lucked out in that I didn’t obsess on how I should be or if it would be ok.  I just always thought:  WWJorDD? In some ways my ignorance/naivete  saved me. More and more, I believe this is a very important topic that rarely gets addressed if you don’t feel completely comfortable with your mentors or know other queer academics. I mainly feel this way because at most every conference I attend, queer grad students come up to talk to me under the guise of my work…but in the end it really is “how do I do what you are doing and be so comfortable with it?”  Well the truth is, I don’t always feel comfortable and I may have some answers for you, but I am still trying to figure it out myself.  Perhaps, with more discussions and experiences we can figure something(s) out.  That is the point of this blog.


This will not always be about queer things, or academic things, and yes I don’t always use apostrophes when I should but unless the software auto-corrects me, its likely it will stay that way.